Beach Walk 530 – Happy Relationships

I’ve been practicing one little switch in my brain – it is so easy to point out what is wrong, and so much more effective to point out what is right, what makes me happy, what I want more of.

I think we grow up with the mistaken notion that other people are here to make us happy – but in reality, that is an individual job. The easiest way to get to that happiness, is to understand what makes us happy and then to be willing to speak up and ask for it!

Here’s my personal blog where I am sharing my writings from Bali:
In the Transition

Hawaiian Word:
Hauʻoli: happy

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Beach Walk 496 – Yin-Yang, Happy-Cranky

A little sneak peek into my relationship with Secret Cameraman!

Though we are a little water and fire, it turns out to be a good mix after all. Part of me thinks I want him to be more like me, but that goes against the balance of nature perhaps.

Hawaiian Word:
Hauʻoli: happy
ʻAʻaka: cranky

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Beach Walk 332 – Sociability 2.0 – part 2

Continued from yesterday’s show. Doing things to help others be happy is nice, until it turns out that you are unhappy.

Coming soon! A world-wide debut of a new song by local female artists, Mighty J. It will be some time this week, so please stay tuned.

Hawaiian words
Launa, Laulauna: sociable
Laulaunaʻole: antisocial

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Beach Walk 331 – Sociability 2.0

Different sociability preferences often cause conflict in personal and professional relationships; let’s upgrade our understanding of this concept to v2.0.

It’s Saturday night and we were invited to a party. I wanted to go and Secret Cameraman didn’t. So I did and he didn’t. Pretty darn simple when looked at in these terms. More often though, there is a lot of negotiating, persuading, whining, and even threatening to get someone else to be more sociable when they don’t feel like it.

I say, trust your inner instincts. And surely it is time to abandon that social pressure to attend things with your partner. It had nothing to do with our host-SC likes her. He was just pooped from a big night out last night, and we hardly ever go out.

I think this going places together has been overbuilt in the culture, and is due for an upgrade in perspective. What do you think? Are you OK going someplace without your “other”? Are you OK saying “no thanks” to an invitation out? Neither is that easy the first few times perhaps, but the rewards are many.

Hawaiian words
Launa, Laulauna: sociable
Laulaunaʻole: antisocial

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Beach Walk 207 – Water seeks its own level

If you find yourself (like me occasionally) complaining about others, remember, water seeks its own level.

We have more in common with those who irritate us than we realize. In paddling you will often hear the boat is only as strong as the weakest paddler. Well, to a certain degree that is true. But there are many ways to work with an imbalance of strength and conditioning without being divisive.

Likewise, very different people can share powerful moments like people of all backgrounds and education being in an AA meeting together.

Hawaiian words
ʻIliwai: level

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