I’m in favor of compartmentalizing things, especially in relationships. I think it reduces stress and gets things resolved faster than globalizing a problem across an entire person or group.
It’s so tempting (and the #2 seems to love the simplicity of it!) to generalize or globalize an entire situation, person, or relationship based on one or a few things. One little slip, and “Aha! You’re horrible and I never want to see you again!”
But I prefer (and actually think it is the more mature thing to do) to isolate problems and deal with them one at a time. To let the positive aspects of a situation/relationship actually weigh in to help remake the peace or solve the dilemma or inspire a new agreement. My #2 wants to sort people, places and things as either “good” or “bad” – no wiggle room. Of course, that can change from day to day, and it’s very draining being at the end of that wide pendulum.
If the same problem occurs over and over, well that’s a different challenge that may benefit from a different response.
Hawaiian words
Hoʻokaʻawale: isolate
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