Shane and I are going to the mainland and my loving sister Barbara has arrived to care for our darling Lexi.
Both girls are happy about that and it would appear Barbara also brought some amazing weather with her – the scenery today is absolutely stunning! This morning we were talking about buttons – the kind that trigger confusion and reactions in each other. I may want the other person to stop pushing, but in reality, the button resides with me. Barbara has a tip for getting a grip on the experience of “stop pushing my buttons!”
Hawaiian Word:
Pihi: button
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What a pleasant day at Kailua and looks like Lexi will do just fine with ‘Aunt’ Barbara! Yes, join us at the Reef, Barbara — we’d love having you 🙂
Welcome Barbara! …rather E komo mai Palapala!
re: Today’s topic
I think there are flavors of button pushing too.
There is the competitive button pushing to goat you into mental/verbal sparing, there is mean spirited button pushing when you don’t respect the other person, and there’s the testing-the-waters button pushing to see if the topic is something you can talk with the other person about (and at what level).
They’re all indirect, so that sends up a red flag.
I’m working to be direct and kind (all of the time). It’s really who I want to be.
When I was younger those buttons stayed pushed most of the time. However, as I grew, the simple statement of,no one can do anything to you you don’t allow them to, changed how I looked at these situations. Oh, my buttons are still pushable. My husband of 27 years is the pro at it. Most of the time when someone pushes us to that point it is their need for attention and interaction. I usually try to listen to why they are saying what they are saying. I find with that attitude toward it I find myself learning about that person and myself instead of being angry.I know, how mature of me, right?! Barbara is right about the breathing. However, I am still human and have to add walking away to the breathing. Barbara, have a great time in Hawaii. You have the best tourist guide ever. She won’t take you to the touristy places, but, I think she will show you the real paradise that most of us don’t slow down enough to experience. Miss Lexie is the queen of simplicity being profound.(Episode 594)
BREATHE. You hit the nail on the head with that one. Breath has such a balancing effect on my entire body, including emotional reactions. I breathe first, clear my mind, and remind myself of the goal I have in that particular situation.
Viewing the situation from a higher perspective is also exceedingly helpful.
When was the last time you were on the mainland Rox? It’s going to be a positively wonderful trip for you, I can feel it!