Beach Walk 433 – Mechanics of Friendship

The art and science of friendship continues to be on my mind these days.

I spoke a while ago about fair weather friends; then Hawaiian-style friends. Continuing into a deeper space, are the rare and true friends, the friends you get close enough to, to hurt and be hurt by. The friends who penetrate your heart, just like the bee who stung my toe the other day on the beach.

It occurs to me that hurt hardly exists without that deep connection; they seem to go hand in hand. That helps me remember to calm down the #2 who feels so “all or nothing” in troubled times, and step back in off the ledge.

Beach Walk #387 – Fair Weather Friends
Beach Walk #428 – Hawaiian-style Friends

Hawaiian words
Hoa: friend

Be in Touch!


  1. Dan Bailes says

    Boy, this came at just the right time in my life. I just had a big tiff with my wife and was feeling quite blue and upset and listening to what you said about the mechanics of friendships of course also goes with the mechanics of love relationships. And it reminded me how important it is to be able to get outside the hurt and anger. Because if you can just detach from it, you can look at it and find some objectivity. And realize that what ever is causing you to feel that way isn’t the big deal you think it is when you’re inside it. I mean, it’s literally turning mountains into molehills. Because once you’re outside of all those upset feelings, you can see more clearly and find your way back to the good feelings. The hard part, I think, is finding that secret little path out of the hurt and anger. I wish it was easier to remember how to get there…

    Dan Bailes