Beach Walk 432 – Flexible Dogma

Jen at Ebb and Flow sent me a link to a video interview with Ken Wilber where he mentioned the concept of flexible dogma. I think that is a critical tool for being happy and avoiding stress.

Beliefs and dogma are here to support us, not be a whipping stick when you can’t fulfill your normal requirements. Today’s episode was at Ala Moana Beach Park in Honolulu.
Ken Wilber

Hawaiian words
Manaʻo: beliefs
Ikaika: strong

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  1. …I remember years ago hitting some roadblocks in a personal relationship because of these rules I had created out of thin-air on ‘how’ the interaction between two people ‘should’ occur in a relationship – it’s not like there were classes on the subject in school, eh?.

    With some coaching I was able define the show stoppers that I was not going to waver on, however everything else was up for what was the best fit (which meant tossing a lifetime of programming out the window).

    I still bump up against my old programming at a low level at home or work, however usually I can keep my foot out of my mouth, well, usually…

    What’s tough, and for example, is I have very liberal social and political views and am surrounded by very conservative folks. It’s even harder because I tend to like some of these very same people – I tend to defer to being passive in those situations and then either let it go (what they said), as their views belongs to them (not me), or if I’m really wound up, wait and vent when I get home.

    Loved today’s show – Mahalo Rox!

  2. great insights…

  3. This is one of those shows where I am not sure I made my point – so thanks for your comments! I really think we argue more than necessary over who believes what. I came to this idea that we choose our beliefs because they add value (to use a business term) to our lives. They add meaning. They add comfort or security or sense.

    But to then feel chained in by them, or cut off from others because of them, or to hold them as an arbitrary standard that we must constantly strive towards, well, that starts detracting from the value IMO.

  4. Too much rambling on my part (goes with too much coffee early in the morning). Sorry ’bout that! ;-)

  5. I try never to be dogmatic about anything because dogma flows from authority or faith. Which is to say, it’s something you’re supposed to believe or do with little or no substantiation. That may explain why it can induce so much stress in people.

    If a “should” is backed by facts, reason and evidence, it’s a lot easier to adhere to, or to understand why it can be violated in a particular case.