Beach Walk 163 – Imagination Takes Muscle

A call from Steve inspired more talk on what it means to set aside historical grudges.

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About Today’s Show

It was raining on the beach after my paddle so we filmed in the trees next to the beach. Steve Gandy called the conch line from Texas and shared his comments about the movie Crash, reminding of the John Lennon song, “Imagine” and wondering how much longer people in the Middle East can carry on their centuries of hatred. I read yesterday that General Peter Pace said, until they love their children more than they hate their neighbor. I thought this was rather direct, profound commentary. In getting to know several people in the military living here in Hawaii, I have learned that their basic goal is to solve problems. This requires a rather detached ability to observe a situation, and assess it into component parts. At its core, this message to me is right on. No matter how compelling the feeling of hatred is, love can trigger a change in course.

It is so easy to make sweeping statements, to think we know so well what others should do. But rather difficult ourselves to apply the same beliefs in our petty disagreements with others; to have past grievances show up repeatedly in our relationships when something “goes wrong.” Like me you’ve probably heard (or said) those sayings like “you always act this way when!” or “no matter what I do you always…” Some days it feels that way, but each of us can choose not to let the past continuously pile on and influence the present negatively.

So maybe for this weekend, we can choose to rush toward dropping grudges. To simply choose, one at a time, to not let them have emotional power over us. To put out the flames on our personal battlegrounds and chose not to let this stuff take on monumental proportions. To speak up sooner for what we want rather than building a grudge for later. Being able to truly “drop it” is one of my most treasured skills, and one that requires frequent tune-ups.

Hawaiian words
Kuhi: imagine
Keiki: children

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  1. He’s such a GREAT secret camera man. Can’t wait to see an episode all about him 🙂

  2. Grudges are useful…… until they’re not.

    Grudges are good because you can focus your anger or resentment in one place, and you can really experience your feelings in a concentrated manner. The problem with grudges is that they actually exist in the past, and we think they exist in the present. We try to carry them forward, when it’s really OLD, OLD, OLD, OLD, OLD information.

    I had a grudge one time against someone that I knew from hanging out. Years later, I was hanging out with a good friend of mine, and we came across this person in the street. I remember the feeling of [basically] “this is the guy that said XYZ however many years ago”… actually, that’s not true. I was reacting to him as if he had just said it, today. my good friend greeted him, then asked us if we knew each other. He introduced the guy I carried the years-old grudge against as his cousin. I hadn’t known that. Right there, I decided I was going to drop the grudge I had against him, because he was related to my good friend. There was no way that I was going to be able to maintain both, so I decided instantaneously that the grudge had to go.

    When I “went” to remove it, I realized that what I was reaching for didn’t really exist. I had the *memory* of what he had said, but I didn’t actually feel anything about that memory to “forgive him” for. I hadn’t realized that I didn’t have any feelings about the situation anymore, but I was still generating my grudge every time I saw him. As I began to live with this ‘reality’, I started searching for other grudges that I was carrying with me, unnecessarily. I found a few and checked them out and tossed them.

    It’s useful every so often to do some “spring cleaning”. 😀

  3. This is a GREAT story Bill and you are to be commended for having such a high IQ and EQ to pull it off.